Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
