So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
