Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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