also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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