it was like eating out sand paper
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
