we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
