wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize