Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
