My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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