it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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