FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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