I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
