They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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