How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
