i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
