hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
