Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
