thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
