Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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