This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize