omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
