Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
