you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Houston, we have a blender
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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