well most of my day revolves around power hour
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
