literally had 100 drinks last night.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
