Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
