First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
