your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
