check it out our google latitudes are spooning
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
