Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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