also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
