Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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