Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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