I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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