I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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