You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The feeling are messing with the penis
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
