btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
