is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
