I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
