I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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