Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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