there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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