My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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