You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
