Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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