at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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