I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think my tv is drunk
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
