idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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