I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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