in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's shark week go big or go home
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
