pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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