Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
