Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
