Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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