Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
