Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize