he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
