I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
we're so committed to being not committed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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