So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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