She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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